Sunday, August 14, 2011 @9:26 AM
okay, so its apparently been a year,
i have english o's in 3days, i haven't started panicking.
anyway the real aim of this post was to highlight someone who i have been infatuated with recently, we just met, but i see so much similarities between us, it makes me wonder, did i pick right, or was it just pure coincidence,
anyway,i really admire this person, not only does she have a wonderful command of the english language, she trolls, cross that debates like a boss, its scary, but i guess both of those traits comes with maturity, i still have alot to learn, i should start being more mature,and start worrying about my studies. i mean this person already has her entire future set out,and it seems like a wonderful one. being a lawyer. it made me realize that being a lawyer is well being a troll, except you get paid alot and well, it comes down to facts and education, it seems rather interesting actually,
oh back to why im infatuated. we share similar thoughts, to be honest i was infatuated by her smile to begin with, but then i realized well yea we do have similar ways of thinking. i just read her article about relationships and wow, i share the same sentiments. though i actually want a relationship,i have to realize the sad cruel truth of it. a relationship is only formed when 2 people need each other, they use each other to experience what its like to belong with one another, a personal connection if you must. forgive my horrible english not that anyone is reading this, its 12:38 am and im starting to feel rather blur from lack of sleep. on the outside a relationship seems so wonderful, so magnificent, but what we lack is a true understanding of what it really is, a relationship is about sacrifice, in order to be happy the other party sacrifices for us, or vice versa. all in the name of so called "love" but ultimately we're clearly using one another to feel happy. ._. omg im so blur now i cant type properly. screw u infatuation, although im partly over her, if only circumstances would let us meet at perhaps a different time, we could have tried out a relationship with one another,and try to make sense of what a relationship is,after all i often wonder what is like to be in one, where we both support each other, where we experience the special connection described in most soap operas.
12:43am good bye infatuation, may u never haunt me again. and if you do please make sure it is in the form of someone i can actually have a chance with, and if you could make sure your target for me this time is similar to the one you set up for me this time.
Friday, July 30, 2010 @9:07 AM
fuck my life.
im taken for granted.
i feel useless.
its all shit.
>_>
ahhh. nobody is gonna read this anyways. but ima make myself feel better. u benedict fook face. you think i have wrinkles? that i look old? take a look at urself. im gonna begin to describe how shitty u look. not to mention ur horrible personality as well.
firstly. u have eyes of a marine animal. more specifically a fish. and yes thats not a compliment. their oddly shaped and fugly. ur eyelids are even more fucked. i swear theres enough eyecrust there to make a wax sculpture.next. ur eyebrows. holy shit ever heard of something called tweezers? man thats nasty. i may have a growing unibrow but u have a fucking amazon rainforest in there.
moving on. ur hair. gosh. i dont know if its ur hairdresser's fault or if its ur own hair. but man. its fucked. more then mine. mine is just frizzy. i have a nice fringe though. but yours. gosh. it has enough oil to season a frying pan. man. its so fucked. i mean its all over the place. and like wtf? ur trying to grow a fringe? holy shit dont bother man. that thing will curl so fast u'll barely notice it. go get a better haircut too.its so fucked. i mean seriously. go do smth with ur roots its so fucking ugly.
oh next. i may have acne scars. but u have them too. at a way more worst rate then mine. btw ur facial features arent that nice either. i may go gaga over guys like taylor lautner and for chad michael murray and i may check other guys out. but u. gosh . i'd refrain from looking at you. your so hidious it'd ruin my eyesight.
ohh and now for the final thing. ur personality. holy shit man. its worst then mine hahahaha. its like u try to find someone u can insult then go for it. gosh. and u do it in such a fail manner. at least when i insult or give attitude u know its true and u know when to stfu. but urs gosh ur insults at me were so pathetic. hahaha "wrinkles" and "old?" man is that all you got? its so pathetic. i think i've done more than enough insulting here. try better next time k douche bag. oh and when u said the twin's face was that infected pussy. i doubt so. ur face is worst then theirs. at least when their older they'll have eachother. as sisters. u? u'll have nobody. cept ur fking hair lice. that'll laugh when u die.
Friday, June 4, 2010 @5:50 AM
i dont know why. i feel so alone. i know all of you will be like "u know theres a gajillion dozens of people suffering and rotting in the world" and yea i know. i know i have a pampered life. get almost anything i want, but whats the use? =_=" lately ive been gaming alot. all because i want to distract myself and not feel so lonely. ;-;" i dont know lol. i know i've crapped alot about this before. yea.
i dont feel part of my batch ;-; " as if i dont feel normal. dont know why i dont socialize more.and apparently thats a problem. i got insulted the other day. lol. isit my fault my best friends. actually all of them are girls. isit my fault i relate better to them? who are you to judge me? u dont even know me.
but enough of that bullshit. i need a friend need someone to talk to. lol need someone to be there for me.lol.sounds stupid. yea.
Friday, February 12, 2010 @2:34 PM
isit normal for someone to feel emo again? randomly ofcourse oh who am i kidding i have reasons. alot of them. thats why i feel like shit. >_> haiz life just sucks like fuck sometimes. lonliness eating the spirit out of me. the feeling of despair and unwantedness just eats u alive. and theres nothing u can do about it. sooner of later i will definitely snap. ah wells.
Sunday, January 10, 2010 @10:40 AM
im gonna dedicate myself to something. something that is actually worth doing. instead of gaming and trolling. lol. im gonna start writing a novel in my big fat thick note book. just one page everyday (: to keep records from as early as my childhood experiences till now. :D and eventually i'll show someone. then mail it to a publishing company. if i can find one. heh. but that'll mean living for another 8years or 6years when i start working. seems long. but i'll do it. i just hope i have enough attention span to do it (: i usually give up things too fast >_> lol. so yea. going to start this tomorrow while im slacking during mother tongue or doing homework during mother tongue. which reminds me. i've got chores to do. and its almost 3am. gonna be a long day tomorrow i guess.
1. clean hamster cage.
2. read my litt book another 4 pages or so left.
3. do my chem homework. lol.
so yea till then tata. nobody reads my blog anyways,
Saturday, January 9, 2010 @7:01 AM
2010 is how should i say.
50% good.
50% suckish.
well. let me elaborate. so far 3e3 is okay . haha. met some nice people there. like well rowell tracy michelle however u spell the names xD their fun yea. lol. but more or less boring days at school. and school is freakily draggy nowadays. >_> end at 2:40 ~ 3+ ? horrible i know. lol. anyways its a great class. and definitely not the class i'd thought it'd be. i'd thought i would be surrounded by gangstas. but its okay. haha. their pretty funny and awesome (:
got a little sad today. after talking to shadow >_> she was feeling all emo and stuff and that kinda killed my happy mood ;-;... trying to comfort her and it killed my happiness D:< rawr. as the saying goes " no good deed goes un punished" anyways i realized today how sucky i feel. lol. ah well. i wont elaborate on that. anyways fat owl dont feel too upset.
and a thing i dont think i'll be able to leave behind.
-low self esteem.
n now a phrase to end the day.
trust is an illusion to harbour safe thoughts.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009 @6:32 AM
well u see 2009 is ending. and we're going onward to 2010.
in many MANY MANY ways i'll be missing 2009 =/ had some fun times but ALOT of awful ones. i remember my deep depression phase @_@ like during june but ah well. things happen. looking back i should've acted more mature to everything. instead of blaming dezheng for everything. but cant help it. him coming to my life this year kinda screwed up alot of my friendships and caused me deep grief.
but on the other hand i found out who ur true friends are /heh. most people call me weird.cause i confide most of my crap to online friends. mainly the people i met in maplestory. or maplesea for that matter. the people i talk to well are mainly .
1. shadow a.k.a saphira. the fat owl. - meh she was going through something crappy too this year. but i guess everything went back to normal eventually. i remember getting pissed at her ex well cause mainly she was ditchihng me and flamie almost 24/7 for him >_> and when she broke up with him she was a mess. and i dont mean the thrash down below my house i meant like "hey..." -pokes- "RAWRRRRR" that kind of mess k not that dramatic more like the emo kind of mess. but yea she got through it :o and shes dating some crap hole now heh. k i wont elaborate on him his a douche anyways. thanks for being such a great friend shadow. u've supported me alot for the year 2009 (: and im definitely sure we had some awesome times. ALOT of awesome times and with recently both of us dota-ing more shall come :D. and if u have any problems u can always come to me (: i'll try to help. and hey if it nids my death note i'd be happy to prescribe a very sadistic demise for ur little problem. and i expect u to be the same /heh xD
2. Flamie poo a.k.a the dick. flamie u rock theres nothing much to say about u. u've always been there for me at 12a.m in the morning or later. mainly because u stay halfway across the globe. it was kinda funny how we met right?. at maple when i started pooping at u for no reason. to think we've been friends for so long (: its fun being around u and screw what ur friends say. ur not creepy. ur just well. a loner. :P so yea i'll look forward to torturing u next year in 2010 XD
a continuation for the people who made a big impact of my life heh.
1. chloe heng. shes well my best buddy. we've been through alot and had many many fun times. well insulting people at least. its been fun :P and will be funner next year. (secretly wants u to get rejected) heh hope u do get rejected from ur school :P whitley well isnt whitley without u. and i cannot imagine insulting people without you. its just not fun.
2. kimberley sarah lampost. a.k.a pride rock nose. kim i havent been talking to u much lately so i dont know whats been going on with u. i want u to know that if anything happens i'll be here (:
3. perry shayne barney. oh i meant azmi. anyways . sup my nigga brother we had some fun this year >_> yea well mainly u ditching me and chloe on several occasions. im gonna miss hanging out with u and stuff. despite the fact that dezheng always comes outta nowhere. and drags u away. making me feel left out and ditched. i've gotten over that already. its actually funny to see the lengths he goes to just to make himself feel good. anyways enough about him. i'll miss u black fucker >_>.. anyways maybe we can play some sports next year (: like after school. haha so yea.
the people who went missing...
1. kristyna mason . gosh i miss u >_> i wish u didnt leave u know. i cant imagine what i would be now if u were still here ._. prolly a completely different person. i hope to see u next year haha.
2. nicholas lim . see u next year in 3e3. no conflict thanks.
and with this i bid farewell to 2009.
things im leaving behind.
1.maplesea.
2. my old lame cloths.
3. alot of zinc bags :p
4. my grief with dezheng >_>
5. the low self esteem me :P
and im sure many many more.
and ima say. hi. to 2010.
end of epic long lame post >_>
